Every parent’s eyes light up hearing that their kid showed great manners at their friend’s house for dinner. Often with surprise. But being polite goes a little further than good manners. It helps us build positive relationships and navigate difficult social situations. Long lines, bad drivers, and disagreements in life are all inevitable. We can’t control that. But we can control how we react. Teaching children to listen and control their tone allows them to absorb the words or details of what’s happening around them. And in turn, allows us to understand a side of a situation, we may not have considered. Modelling polite interactions in front of our children, when interacting with others, goes a long way to building well mannered, well balanced little people.

Many people think bullying can happen to anyone, but statistics don’t bear that out. The targets of the prototypical playground bully, exist at both extremes. Either the really well liked, athletic or attractive kid (due to the tall-poppy syndrome) or the quiet introvert with no real social connection to a group or clique. Social Media has only hastened to magnify that reality. There is no magic elixir we can give our children, to completely immunize them against such a thing. But there are a host of things we must do, as parents, to mitigate the likelihood of our children becoming victims of such aggression. An important starting point, is to distinguish an insult or negative remark, from ‘bullying’. Overreacting to a mean-spirited remark, might convince children they are fragile. But many children are not fragile. Many children are vibrant, enthusiastic, vivacious, effervescent and often, they are strong. Bullying is never about a comment or a phrase. Bullying is a campaign by a group or individual towards another group or individual. It is irrational and intentionally hurtful (physically, emotionally, or both). And this distinction is important, because all of us need to develop a skin thick enough to deal with unfriendly characters, because life introduces us to such people from time to time. However, there is no skin thick enough to combat bullying. Bullying must be addressed in a clear and concise way. And children feeling they can be open with their parents about such things, is invaluable to a child’s safety. But equally important to ensuring our children do not present an ideal target to such behaviour, is raising a well-balanced kid with healthy self-esteem. Children with a healthy sense of self, sense of humour and resilience, portray characteristics that don’t feed into the ‘victim’ profile. In this way, we must equip our children with the skills to minimize the risk of being bullied, ensuring they limit the space for others to even initiate such a thing. We want our children to feel confident and when necessary, act assertive. Children need to know they have your full support, while they deter aggression by being LOUD and PROUD of who they are.

Nothing has a greater impact on our mental health and wellbeing than our own perspective. And that reality leads us in either direction; positive and negative. However, cultivating a positive state of mind acts as a springboard for every step we take. Beyond that, it can create its own momentum, which serves to create a contagious feeling; brightening the moods of those around us. Feeling positive begins with a choice. For some of us that choice is easy. For some, not so much. But children have the fresh perspective to easily adapt a daily practice, fostering a mindset of positivity. Ultimately, giving our children a positive outlook, will lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.